My head popped up at the mention of the slaughter of millions of trees. These trees are grown to be cut, so I think 'harvesting' would be a more accurate term. Now if there are places that clear-cut forests of spruce & cypress for Christmas trees, that's a whole 'nother story. We have two family-owned Christmas tree farms within 25 miles of our home. They closed for the season 2 weeks before Christmas because they sold out of trees. They have a better product at a better price than the big-box stores, and buying from them is a much more pleasant event all around. And as you know, all that money stays in the community. Everybody in the family from middle school-aged to grandparents works the farm during the season. I love to see multiple generations working together. I don't know how Christmas tree farms measure up against traditional crops of cotton, soy, or corn profitability-wise, but I sure would prefer to live next to one as opposed to a heavily sprayed cotton field. We have harvested cedar and cypress trees for Christmas from our property for 8 years and have replanted with even more cypress. We hope to roll through the years raising our own Christmas trees, but if we couldn't we would happily buy them locally. Merry Christmas!
I think this piece took some guts to write, and I appreciate you articulating what so many of us feel silently. (Just look at the comments here, as an example!) Thank you, Janisse, for always expressing the seemingly inexpressible. You are our voice.
Thank you for so beautifully expressing what I feel during this time of year. I try, however, to focus on the commons among us you write about - the symbol of light as a sign of hope among so many world beliefs and cultures. I can't give up hope. Blessings and gratitude to you.
Mmmm, just yes to all of this. We do all want to belong. It is a biological/survival imperative and it is a soul longing. And we do belong, even when we can’t feel it. I dream so often, like I did last night, that I’m trying to find my way home and I’m lost.  holidays like this can bring out both the belonging and really highlight the places we feel we don’t belong. 
On your point #4 above, I’ve been that person. My mother was really that person in many ways. And I’ve been grateful that I could give gifts and put a lot of time and thought into those gifts. So I don’t know if I see that one has a negative because in both our cases, it wasn’t that we didn’t want to share our heart. I know I just wasn’t able and I wanted to connect and belong too.
Much love to you. The real celebration is of the solstice, of course. The return of the sun that was turned into the return of the “son“. The real celebration is eons old and we all belong to it.  it is a celebration of life itself.
Beautifully made points. My family (birth fam, I don’t have kids) don’t do presents, except for kids, for all the reasons you outlined above. We bring beautiful food to share instead. It makes for a significantly less stressful Christmas period and one which is less wasteful/impactful on the earth. I feel like it means we have more time to focus on ‘belonging’ which I agree is absolutely the gift we all seek.
So many of us have ambivalent feelings about the holiday season. Let us all try to be a little more kind, a little less wasteful, and a bit more mindful. Wishing peace of mind for all.
I'm not a Christian, but I believe in the magic of this time of year. And damn if, 32 years ago, I didn't manage to give birth to my one and only on December 25. That is always her day. The extras are just extras...but I know it's a difficult time for many, and I try, in every sense of the word, to tread gently during the season.
And I hope with all my heart that the message of Peace will once and for all be heard, and felt, everywhere. Every day, not just at the end of December.
Thanks for the thoughtful essay on your perspective about Christmas. I couldn’t agree more with the least favorite (wasteful/harmful) traditions. I wonder at how we conceive of our own sense of belonging. You belong - how many of us think of you … maybe rely on you .. for helping us think through what really matters on this earth? I have rejected much from my upbringing; my sense of belonging comes from how I - and the love of my life - have grown together and now - at a somewhat advanced age - want to work for the right things - the things that contribute to a healthy environment for our fellow earthlings. Also, at our advanced age, we know how challenging it can be to help SOME people feel loved and “belonged.” All the best to you - and yours!
So beautiful and well-said! I agree with every word! You are such a wise soul... happiest of winter solstices to you, and may we all have some cheer because we do need it :-)
Janisse. - Thank you for sharing. You put into words so many of the things I’ve felt about Christmas over the years, but never took the time (or had the courage?) to articulate. Except the fruitcake. I will never enjoy fruitcake! Happy December! - Bill Diskin
I resemble, love and resoundingly applaud every word of this. Happy new year
My head popped up at the mention of the slaughter of millions of trees. These trees are grown to be cut, so I think 'harvesting' would be a more accurate term. Now if there are places that clear-cut forests of spruce & cypress for Christmas trees, that's a whole 'nother story. We have two family-owned Christmas tree farms within 25 miles of our home. They closed for the season 2 weeks before Christmas because they sold out of trees. They have a better product at a better price than the big-box stores, and buying from them is a much more pleasant event all around. And as you know, all that money stays in the community. Everybody in the family from middle school-aged to grandparents works the farm during the season. I love to see multiple generations working together. I don't know how Christmas tree farms measure up against traditional crops of cotton, soy, or corn profitability-wise, but I sure would prefer to live next to one as opposed to a heavily sprayed cotton field. We have harvested cedar and cypress trees for Christmas from our property for 8 years and have replanted with even more cypress. We hope to roll through the years raising our own Christmas trees, but if we couldn't we would happily buy them locally. Merry Christmas!
Such a great point.
I think this piece took some guts to write, and I appreciate you articulating what so many of us feel silently. (Just look at the comments here, as an example!) Thank you, Janisse, for always expressing the seemingly inexpressible. You are our voice.
Thank you for so beautifully expressing what I feel during this time of year. I try, however, to focus on the commons among us you write about - the symbol of light as a sign of hope among so many world beliefs and cultures. I can't give up hope. Blessings and gratitude to you.
This is beautiful ❤️
Thank you for this. I kinda needed it.
thank you
Mmmm, just yes to all of this. We do all want to belong. It is a biological/survival imperative and it is a soul longing. And we do belong, even when we can’t feel it. I dream so often, like I did last night, that I’m trying to find my way home and I’m lost.  holidays like this can bring out both the belonging and really highlight the places we feel we don’t belong. 
On your point #4 above, I’ve been that person. My mother was really that person in many ways. And I’ve been grateful that I could give gifts and put a lot of time and thought into those gifts. So I don’t know if I see that one has a negative because in both our cases, it wasn’t that we didn’t want to share our heart. I know I just wasn’t able and I wanted to connect and belong too.
Much love to you. The real celebration is of the solstice, of course. The return of the sun that was turned into the return of the “son“. The real celebration is eons old and we all belong to it.  it is a celebration of life itself.
Beautifully made points. My family (birth fam, I don’t have kids) don’t do presents, except for kids, for all the reasons you outlined above. We bring beautiful food to share instead. It makes for a significantly less stressful Christmas period and one which is less wasteful/impactful on the earth. I feel like it means we have more time to focus on ‘belonging’ which I agree is absolutely the gift we all seek.
So many of us have ambivalent feelings about the holiday season. Let us all try to be a little more kind, a little less wasteful, and a bit more mindful. Wishing peace of mind for all.
I'm not a Christian, but I believe in the magic of this time of year. And damn if, 32 years ago, I didn't manage to give birth to my one and only on December 25. That is always her day. The extras are just extras...but I know it's a difficult time for many, and I try, in every sense of the word, to tread gently during the season.
And I hope with all my heart that the message of Peace will once and for all be heard, and felt, everywhere. Every day, not just at the end of December.
thanking god for the fragrance of newmown hay
and the beautiful silence of animals
and the absolute truth of the heavenly earth.
e.e. cummings
Thanks for the thoughtful essay on your perspective about Christmas. I couldn’t agree more with the least favorite (wasteful/harmful) traditions. I wonder at how we conceive of our own sense of belonging. You belong - how many of us think of you … maybe rely on you .. for helping us think through what really matters on this earth? I have rejected much from my upbringing; my sense of belonging comes from how I - and the love of my life - have grown together and now - at a somewhat advanced age - want to work for the right things - the things that contribute to a healthy environment for our fellow earthlings. Also, at our advanced age, we know how challenging it can be to help SOME people feel loved and “belonged.” All the best to you - and yours!
So beautiful and well-said! I agree with every word! You are such a wise soul... happiest of winter solstices to you, and may we all have some cheer because we do need it :-)
Great piece.
Janisse. - Thank you for sharing. You put into words so many of the things I’ve felt about Christmas over the years, but never took the time (or had the courage?) to articulate. Except the fruitcake. I will never enjoy fruitcake! Happy December! - Bill Diskin