63 Comments
User's avatar
Rebecca B's avatar

I love this SO much, Janisse! It is beginning to freak me out how much our lives have overlapped in our experiences. The cracker childhood, the wandering, other things. I too had a love who was important to me, though ultimately rejected by me. He was suddenly and unexpectedly required by his next partner to cut off all ties with me because of jealousy and insecurity. It hurt, because I had fully intended to be best friends with him for all my life. You have eulogized wild love in such a wild and wonderful way. Much love to you and yours. <3

Expand full comment
Sydney Kale's avatar

I was perusing your website, and I realized you came to speak at my school a handful of years ago while I was an undergrad at Wofford College. We read Ecology of a Cracker Childhood for one of my courses! I remember that book being one of my favorites on our list that year. I’m glad I found you here!

Expand full comment
Amie Whittemore's avatar

"Even if a person moves on or dies, that doesn’t mean that loves follows suit. Love is this thing that never dies. It just grows wilder and wilder. It grows out of its container. It grows madly and recklessly." - this. Such a beautiful eulogy, Janisse. So sorry for your loss.

Expand full comment
Antonia Malchik's avatar

I can only echo what everyone else has said about the beauty of this. And it made me think, of course, about my own exes of years past, the tracks they leave all over our hearts and the ways we carry them with us.

Expand full comment
Janisse Ray's avatar

"tracks"--that is a perfect word.

Expand full comment
Dottie Turner Leatherwood's avatar

Beautiful tribute. I can imagine the swirl of so many feelings as you were writing. This life is a wild and glorious journey. ❤️

Expand full comment
Nita C's avatar

Surprised

for RKN

I expected to always be

the one by your side

with twenty-two years

of a united life,

of raising a son into a man,

of the bliss and struggles

that come with such union

But our paths diverged

and at the end

another held your hand,

another's heart was broken

for all the world to see,

while my aching grief

catching me by surprise,

is seen by only a few

who still remember

the fierce blaze of our devotion.

Nita C.

Expand full comment
Janisse Ray's avatar

There is not a button here to like this enough. I love you, Nita.

Expand full comment
Elizabeth Selzer's avatar

My heart is breaking for the love I had like this - you’ve allowed me to weep on this gentle morning.

Expand full comment
Susan J Tweit's avatar

Beautiful and truthful. Wild love comes from deep inside, and lives with us always, even though our spirits part. It is fearless love, even when our fear gets the better of us. Thank you for acknowledging yours, and being honest about the pain as well as the exhilaration. The yin and yang. I am sending hugs to you.

Expand full comment
Brandy Renee McCann's avatar

This is so lovely. Thank you for sharing this and normalizing all our wild loves.

Expand full comment
Pat's avatar

Oh my heart. Beautiful eulogy. I can feel the love. I’ve loved such a man, once upon a time. Still love him though we’ve not seen one another in 16 years. As you’ve so eloquently stated, love is wild. Yes. Comforting thoughts to you.

Expand full comment
Robert B Currey's avatar

Nice. I wildly love you too!

Expand full comment
Janisse Ray's avatar

Oh, dear Robert. I treasure your wild love.

Expand full comment
Mary Dansak's avatar

Stunning. I'm left weepy and quiet.

Expand full comment
Spencer George's avatar

Janisse, this was beautiful; thank you for sharing <3

Expand full comment
Anne McCrady's avatar

What a lovely story! I would be in love with "Liam" too -- and I am also a poet. How nice that all those feelings and memories can be held and cherished forever...and now we can tuck them in our hearts too! <3

Expand full comment
Amber Lanier Nagle's avatar

Oh how I loved this, Janisse! So many of us have had wild loves and chosen not to write about the person or time period, fearing that it would hurt feelings or be misconstrued. And I'm 100% with you in that, at 58, I believe that love never dies. We just tuck it away in a safe place so we can navigate through our lives. RIP "Liam" and peace be with you, Janisse.

Expand full comment
Monica Miller's avatar

This is beautiful, Janisse.

Expand full comment